Valentines Day
I was lucky to receive some beautiful wishes from my love on Valentines Day, but it has caused me reflect on the concept of love in Afghan society. It is something that has already come up several times here in different conversations.

It’s weird, being in love here is forbidden. The girls simply say that it is a very bad thing to be in love. It is against the law and the religion. I don’t even know where to begin explaining what it’s like and I can’t imagine a whole life without it.

Marriage is not based on love, but is something that is organized by their parents, even today. I was talking to Mansoor, who is becoming one of my good AIESEC friends here. His father is suggesting that he get married. Why? Because the family wants something to do this summer. The wedding rituals take place over about 3-4 months. He can’t see why I think it’s strange that he get married just because his family wants something to do over summer. I asked him, if he were to get married, who would he marry? He said he doesn’t know, but his mother has started looking. It’s just so strange. But he can’t believe that our parents would have very little to do with the choice of our partners. So we’re both talking to each other about worlds that are so foreign that we can hardly understand.

The relationship of marriage, rather than being based on love, or even companionship, is more out of necessity and the needs of the family. Men take a wife, when they feel ready to support one and when they need one t take care of them. Their wife is usually chosen by the mother, or sometimes the boy will tell the mother if there is a girl that he as seen that he likes. The mother will go to the girls parents and negotiate with them about what the marriage will involve. Generally the girls have no say in anything at all.

Even the boys mother going to the girls family is part of the ritual. Then the families visit eachother, but still the couple never meets. Maybe if the girls parents permit it, they will be allowed to see each other, but not really talk.

The wedding itself is a huge process, but the men and women celebrate separately. The have these big lavish party, for many people it is the highlight of their lives.

After the marriage, the wife moves in with the man’s family, and becomes part of the women in that household, and part of the house hold “staff”. If women are lucky, they are well treated and their relationship with their husband develops into one of companionship, respect and even love. But if they are unlucky, the relationship remains one of master and servant. Either way, he always maintains control.

Love is something that is sinister and forbidden and can only lead to trouble and tragedy. It does not factor into anything. Well, I have no doubt that it can lead to trouble and possibly tragedy, but I would not want to lead my life without it. Love brings all the highs and lows and so much meaning and clarity as well as confusion and fear. I just can’t get my head around the idea that this whole society functions without it. But it is just one of the things that I am learning to come to terms with here in Kabul.

Denamrk’s Cartoon
The issue of the day here is the cartoon depicting the prophet Mohammed. Not only is it wrong to depict the profit at all, but I believe that the cartoon was in quite bad taste, although I have not seen it myself.

Since the event, there has been much discussion around this theme, but here in Afghanistan, there have not been any demonstrations or so forth. But last night we watched on the news demonstrations in other countries that seems to have inspired some people to come out today in protest.

We were driving to a meeting on the other side of town, and as usual we were stopped in traffic, when all these people, well just men, came marching down between the stopped cars, banging on the roofs and doors. It is the first time here I have felt a little afraid. I was quick to adjust my head scarf, so that I could not be easily identified as a foreigner. It passed without incident, but over the next couple of days, I will defiantly be more aware of how much I am sticking out.

Shia Festival
This incident coincides with the end of the 10 day Shia Muslim festival. It has been amazing to watch over the last couple of days, and I await the final day on Wednesday. This festival involves Shia men and women beating themselves in mourning for the death of the martyr who was a direct descendant of the prophet Mohammed. They can be seen on TV in big halls chanting in time while beating themselves. They started early in the festival beating their chests with their hands until they were red and sore. Then they used whips and beat their backs. On the last days of the festival they add tiny knives to the whips, so that they bleed. It really is quite strange to watch. Out trainee here, Mike, has been fortunate enough to go to one of these sessions, as he works for a TV station, where as I myself, have only been able to watch it on TV.

To scarf or not to scarf
The scarf has been a point of much discussion here in Afghanistan. On my way here I was trying to decide when would be an appropriate point to put it on. I followed suit with some of the other females on my flight and put it on before I went through customs.
There were 6 or 7 women on my flight. We were all foreigners, but only 4 of us put the scarf on on arrival. I was kind of wondering about this, until the next day at a meeting with UN-HABITAT, the guy there, who was an international, asked me why I was wearing it. It was his opinion that international women should set an example for local women by not wearing the scarf.

Over the last week, I have had many discussions with people about this topic and what they think I should do. First of all there is the issue of security. Without the scarf I am even more easily identified as a foreigner, and while there have not been any problems late, there is no need to draw extra attention to myself. People look at me enough as it is.

Secondly, the situation of international women is generally starkly different from that of Afghani women. Covering your head is generally excepted as part of the Islamic way of life, so why discourage women to do it?

Already there is a broad range of cover that women have adopted. In Kabul, there are about 10-15% of women that still wear burqas. But many of these women lift themup to buys things or what ever and some of them even wear high heals. The majority of women simply wrap a scarf around their heads, which is easy to remove once they are inside. I was surprised that they do not wear the closed hid jab, as many of the women in Sydney do, but just have a simple scarf around their hair. Some women raise their scarf over their mouth when on the street, but this is more to protect from the dust than anything else.

Of course, this is only referring to the women that are allowed to go out. There is still a large number of women, I do not know the figures, that are not permitted to leave their houses. There women are a completely different story. The treatment of women is starkly different from family to family, tribe to tribe and region to region.

Around Town
I’ve been getting around town a bit for different meetings, with different companies. I haven’t been out much by myself yet, as the AIESECers generally accompany me every where. It’s a fairly small city, but it’s sprawling. I live in a district where there are mainly businesses and international organizations. As you pass through the streets you can see hundreds of signs for different NGOs like arms of the UN, Oxfam, USAID. They go on for ever. There are also heaps of embassies and so on. It’s kind of like Canberra in that it’s all so concentrated.

You can tell that it’s a war ravaged city. Most of the streets are not paved, the electricity is not 24 hours and each district takes turns to have it on a different night, although the international district has it 24hours. The streets are not paved. So they were muddy with rain and melting snow, now they are just incredibly dusty.

The remnants of the buildings that were destroyed by fighting are slowing being removed and ugly Pakistani buildings and houses are growing up in their place. But there are still plenty of buildings that are covered in the pock marks of gunfire.

There are plenty of things to buy, but most of them are not from here. Even the shops that sell souvenirs are mainly selling stuff from Pakistan. Actually everything is expensive. I bought a sim card the other day, because there are no land line phones, and it cost me $40 american dollars. The call costs aren’t great either. They’re more expensive than Sydney.

Food
Food is generally expensive. And unlike the other parts of Asia that I visited, you cannot generally buy a meal on the street. There are some restaurants and fast food outlets that cater to the UN crowd, who are on excessively high salaries, but it is not really pratical to eat there.

Most internationals also have food provided by their workplace, as you cannot buy prepared food of the street, unfortunately, mine does not. So I am relying much on being a visitor to sample the local cuisine.

I have been to visit with the family of some female AIESECers. Generally everything is deep fried, kind of like in Russia. We had potato pancakes that were deep fried, and patties made from onion and chic pea flour, that were also deep fried. All this was washed down with bread. So any hope of loosing those extra kilos that I gained in Thailand is fading.

The other thing that Afghanistan is famous for is nuts and some dried fruit. All over the streets are carts heaps high with walnuts, pistachios, different colour sultanas, almonds, dried strawberries and so on. You buy them by the kilo, and they are just about the only thing here that is cheap. So I’ve been munching on them quite a lot.

Yum yum!!!

So I am finally writing to you all from Kabul.

As the flight descended to Kabul, I could see clearly the ice and snow that I was getting myself in for. As the plane landed we taxied past numerous army helicopters and military looking small aircraft sporting logos of the UN, FAO and other such NGOs.

It’s uncanny how much this place reminds me of Omsk. The airport in particular. It was cold, wet, dark, open and just a simple lone building. I have to say, as I came through customs, I was greeted by the largest man I’ve ever seen in my life, dressed in US Army gear, asking if I was some person by the name of McCleod.

I was picked up at the airport at about 3pm, by a bunch of AIESECers who had been waiting from about 10am. They had thought that I was coming from Dubai, so they had been waiting since the first flight from Dubai had come in that morning. Unfortunatly, by this time, many of them had to go home, as it was getting late, and the girls especially have to be home by a certain time.

The temperature is about 2 degrees and the streets are like muddy rivers. The streets are lined with melting snow and you have to be careful where you step to avoid plunging your boot into a puddle that’s deeper than you expect. It’s is cold, wet and overcast.

I stick out like as a foreigner, not because of my sex or my colour, but because of my puffy down jackets. There are plenty of foreigners here and they are all recognizable by their puffy snow jackets.

The area of our office is in a district where there are lots of foreign organizations. On the way here I passed sever embassies and overseas aid agencies. The office itself is in the compound of Mediotek, a company which I am sure to lean more about, as I gather I will be doing some work for them as well.

The compound is pretty nice. It is one of the only places in Kabul where there is 24 hour electricity. It hosts the offices for Mediotek, and 2 of the employees that live here, as well as a guard that lives here as well. There is a kitchen. 2 bathrooms, that sometimes have hot water, and a couple of bedrooms. Not all of them are full. My room is actually quite large, and it is on the second floor, which helps to keep it warm. I have a desk, a chair, a bed and a heater. It really is more than I expected.

The AIESEC office is fairly well equipped with 3 computers. It’s actually 2-3 times the size of the AIESEC Sydney office. So it’s pretty good really. And it’s about 100 meters from my room, or less, so I can see myself getting quite a bit of work done, when I figure out exactly what it is that I’ll be doing. The office is actually on the other side of the city from the university, and where most of the AIESECers live, but they are coming to the office often at the moment, as it is holidays until mid-march.

Well, that’s probably it for now. I have been here for less than 24 hours, but I know that I lot of people were eager to hear how it is. Hope to hear from you all shortly.